Exhale

So another month is coming to a close….man, time really flies….literally. From the onset, March didn’t appear to be interesting AT ALL due to a big mistake on my part. However this is ME we’re talking about and I’ve always got a couple of tricks (and a lot of luck) up my sleeve. March ended up being an absolutely fantastic month! Here’s the breakdown:

Fort McMurray, Halifax, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, Vancouver, Tampa (x7), Calgary, Montreal, LAS VEGAS. 

Another city on the avoid list…Tampa can be friends with St. John’s. But my god, Vancouver was absolutely breath-taking. The scenery, the water, mountains and the beaches makes Toronto look very bland. Got to catch up with a good friend while I was in Montreal. Last but definitely not least VEGAS! Simply just W-O-W. First time there in my 23 years of existence and there was just so much to intake and so little time my senses could barely cope. Next month is looking alright, so stay tuned! 

I’ve always been told that I’m a little bit more mature and level headed than most around my age, but this year, for the first time, I really see the growth and maturity myself. 

There used to be a time when I would live day by day and planning for the future was well…tomorrow’s problem. Living in the moment isn’t exactly a bad thing in itself, but one must be able to step out once in a while, and look ahead. I’ve got one eye on today and the other on tomorrow. 

There used to be a time when sensitive or taboo topics such as: money, religion and sexuality, would trigger uneasy giggles followed by a brush off. Not any more, none of these really faze me any more and any feelings of anxiety and unease has evaporated. 

There used to be a time when I thought I was invincible and impervious to all the feelings and emotions attached to humanity. I’m not, and I’m learning to embrace and cope with it which is another nurturing experience in itself. 

I’m in a really really good phase in my life right now. I know exactly who I am, what I like/dislike, when I need to take those next steps, where I want to be and how I want to get there. I feel extremely content; even on rainy days.   

-It was literally just a day and a half ago, Sunday February 26 2013 that we all went out to eat together. 

-The last time I stepped inside a shopping mall to shop for myself was easily 3 months ago, when I was back in Montreal. 

-I’ve accompanied ‘others’ to shop without the intention of shopping for myself more times than I can remember…including with you. 

-It was just last night that I was working on my day off, that I brought food home, helped you and then went back to work

-Yes we’ve done a lot of shopping together….GROCERY shopping to cook at home. Cook for whom? Who helps to cook every time? Who does the dishes every time? 

-Contact lenses, braces, tutoring…hardly everything by yourself. 

-The dress shirts today, I’m going to be paying for like 95% of my wardrobe. 

Just stop comparing and feeling sorry for yourself, it’s not going to get you anywhere. I never had any of these things when I was your age. I was working almost full time at your age. I never really had anyone cook for me around that age, I was actually cooking for myself and other people at that age. Am I a bitter bitch because of that? No.

Instead of thinking about what people owes you, how about thinking about what you can do to help make people want to do things for you. Maybe one would love to cook a lot more if someone helps out to cook or wash the dishes afterwards. Maybe one would love to take you out more if you aren’t always so difficult and have the mindset of just buying things instead of just spending time. 

It’s a no brainer why one would cook more and go out more when I’m around. Who’s there to assist on the cooking and do the clean up after when I’m not around; You? Who’s there to tell her to take a day off and rest while I work; You? Wouldn’t you be much more happier and willing to do things if someone was there alongside you to share the load? 

Like I said before, relationships are a two way stream. You have to be willing to give a little to receive a little. When you are willing to give a little without intending to receive anything, then you can start comparing. I’ve worked hard over the years to get to where I am and I continue to choose to be this way. You have that choice too. 

Third month down (welll…almost)! Contrast to the first two months when I’ve literally been all over the place, this month took me to pretty much one place and one place only…….Saint John’s, Newfoundland! Here’s the breakdown:

Saint John’s (9x), Calgary, Winnipeg. 

Yes, you read that right, that’s NINE times to YYT in a month. Despite that, I’ve really enjoyed this month because it’s such big change from the the previous months and the people there are absolute sweet hearts. Add in the fact I got my weekends off which allowed me to spend a lot of time with the family and a special someone. But I must say, I totally wouldn’t mind not having to see YYT on my schedule for at least a couple of months!